I was a Mess.

Funny thing about addiction.. it does not discriminate. Lots of people have told me when I tell them I’m a recovering alcoholic that they would of never guessed. White female, grew up middle class, well traveled and educated and I was a mess.

I know there are lots of people who question their relationship with alcohol. If you are questioning that, there mostly likely is. But that is not up for me to decide for you.

Even though I was not a daily drinker, I binged. I could go days without it but man oh man once it touched my lips..goodnight sweet Irene. I would be on a mission to get drunk AF for days and wouldn’t stop. I will say and want to make this loud to the world, you don’t have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. This is a HUGE stigma.

My life revolved around drinking. My fun revolved drinking. My relationships revolved around drinking. Drinking. Drinking. Drinking. It controlled me but the physical act of drinking again was not everyday. Fucking exhausting. You have to decide what’s best for you and how you identify yourself with whatever label you want.

I identify with sober, recovering alcoholic, pig(this is more of a joke), a women in recovery and I’m allergic to alcohol cause all of this is TRUE.

Coming upon pictures of me in blackouts now, I just give myself a giggle with a touch of thank god I stopped the madness when I did because I would probably be dead now. I hope for all you are in early recovery or active addiction get to this point of seeing the beautiful life you have.

Xoxo,

CMA