FOMO!

FOMO-FEAR OF MISSING OUT... YES, its a thing and YES it is real!! My FOMO was out of hand early days of recovery. It will go away in time, but once in a while, it will pop back up in my life, depending on an event or situation. Last year I had this when I opted out of a weekend Bachelorette party for a good friend, but I couldn't do it because I knew there would be heavy drinking involved. I'm just not there yet, I may never be, and that is OK! It's ok to say NO, it's healthy and sets boundaries for yourself, so you don't jeopardize your sobriety. In the early stages of recovery, FOMO was right up there with my crippling anxiety. I know, I know it sounds silly, but it's true. In my addiction my drinking was so, very social. To be honest, I never drank at home much unless it was continuing the party after the bars shut down or random nights I decided to stay in and drink wine.

I learned the FOMO would come around the time; I started to get the itch for wanting to drink. Which would be daily. I would wonder what my pals were doing and assume they were out and about having a time! I would look at pictures on social media and see friends out with big smiles on their faces as they held there beers, wine or shots. I would always say to myself "why can't I will just be able to drink normal" It just is life and I don't have the off button, I guess as lady gaga would say. I was born this way. Recovery can be lonely! You have to isolate yourself to get better, but then again a lot of friends disappear on you. You quickly see who your real true blue friends are and the ones that will meet you for coffee or lunch and do none drinking activities with you. KEEP THOSE PEOPLE AROUND! They love you for YOU and not just the right time you bring to the table at the present moment of being at the bar before you reach your blackout and become Cornado. In time, I learned that the only thing I was missing out on was me being a drunk asshole!! I wasn't drinking into a blackout, I wasn't throwing chairs, I wasn't yelling at people, I wasn't putting myself in harmful situations, I wasn't going to jail, I wasn't waking up in a hospital, I wasn't sleeping with inappropriate men, I wasn't waking up with a hangover that would give me panic attacks.. the list could go on and on. As my alcoholic brain started to change and the fog was
lifting in recovery, I was soon beginning to realize that FOMO is me living
In my old life. I use to get it in my addiction when I couldn't go out with friends or I couldn't attend an event for whatever reason. It was me wanting to go out and get as fucked up as possible because that is what I thought was how you had fun!!! It's hard to admit, but it's true, drinking to me equaled a good time. Growing up that's how drinking was perceived in my house hold, cocktails were fun, no matter what day it was! When I finally had this AHA moment, I had to start living for NOW and the new life I was and
am creating for myself. It's funny because you genuinely have to mourn your old
Life and some friends you once had. You have to grieve that FOMO. You have to mourn alcohol, sounds lame but booze was my best friend for 11 years. So, I had to say goodbye to it, cry over it, be angry at it and then come to peace with it. Trust when I say what you think you are missing out on, your not, and it is not that fun anyway. Keep reminding yourself of all the bad your addiction brought to the table and then remember all the good your sobriety is bringing into your life. Go thru the motions of the process, its a death. I can't even tell you how many times I have cried since becoming sober..it is wild, but it has become healthy to release the emotions. It gets worse before it gets better, but it gets BETTER! Remember, you have done A LOT OF DAMAGE to your life
and others around you because of your addiction, so that ripple effect has expanded wide.

FOMO hasn't happened to me since the summer of 2015, that's good because it's healthy!! I'm growing away from my addiction if that makes sense?!?! I guess I am trying to say that a heavy burden is not so present in my life nowadays. I'm living in the present and living for the NOW which does not consist of alcohol. Nothing will be or is the same once you become sober! It's a good thing, life
becomes better and YOU become better if you allow it!!!!

Always,

CMA